Train Wreck!

Imagine a creaky roller coaster with a loose seat belt and no handles to hold onto. Pulling out of the station, the cart slides easily around a corner and one may think that this is quite the leisurely ride. Suddenly, the cart lurches forward into a nose dive so steep you can't see the bottom. At this point, I close my eyes and scream. The cart reaches the bottom of the hill and I'm sure I'm going to crash. The cart does not crash but takes a swift turn over a series of small hills. I am positivethat the cart is going to throw me out. Twisting, turning, upside down loops. I spot the end of the track and let out a scream because I'm positive it just ends. The track just stops! I'm pummeling at an unimaginable speed towards what I'm sure will be my death when the cart slows to a stop. Instantly, the cart reverses twice as fast as before back over the series of bumps, turns, and giant hill into the station. My heart is pounding in my ears and I think I'm going to pass out. That is an emotional roller coaster.

I was joking around with a friend of mine about how my emotions can be like a roller coaster. He asked me what I would name this particular ride. I thought for only a second when it hit me. Train wreck. "Anyone who gets out alive gets another free ride!" I can definitely find myself on this at really inconvenient times. I will go and go until I'm completely spent. It's always the weirdest things that point out something is wrong. Like bawling at running out of eye contact solution then remembering I have some stashed around the corner. Stopping think through what I have just done,I realize that I need to spend some serious time with Jesus.

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke up you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for you souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

So many times I can get distracted with what's going on around me. Life can get so busy! Work, errands, hanging out with ladies, ministry, family time, church. Everything goes by so fast and fills up my schedule. I don't really plan on penning in a 'breaking down before the Lord so He can be my absolute number one and mold me into what he wants me to be' time. That requires a lot time, brutal honesty, battling lies, utter brokenness, and tears. It's not really the most pleasurable thing to do. In the end; though, I hand over a bunch a nasty stuff to God and he gives me peace, joy, love and fills me up with his righteousness. I stay at the throne until I hand every thing over and he dumps his blessings on me. I can breathe a sigh of relief.

"Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of God." Matthew 5:3

What does it mean to be poor in spirit? The Greek word meaning poor in spirit is the same for beggar. Blessed are those who are starving beggars? Jesus can't be serious! But he is. Blessed are those who are starving for God. They are desperate for Him. Desperate people don't wait shyly for a little bit of food. They rush after it desiring for as much as they can get. This is the kind of heart that God loves and he promises an entire kingdom! This state of desperation for God should be a normal part of my life but only happens when I can't take what life is dishing out to me. Hopefully, I can make this more a part of my everyday life.

Lucky for me, God understands the ever changing waves that are my emotions and thoughts. I will continue to trust and desperately chase after Christ. My prayer is that you will also chase after Christ desperately.

Promise verses:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let you requests be known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and you minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

"He will feed His flock like a shepherd. He will carry the lambs in His arms, holding them close to His heart. He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young." Isaiah 40:11

Things just aren't fair on this earth

Last Thursday, a classmate from Southeast Polk lost his life to Leukemia. He was in a few of my classes and we may have accidentally bumped into each other or been partnered up for something or another. It can be so strange to think of someone who was so filled with life to be dead. He just didn't seem like the kind of guy that would lose but life isn't fair. This dominion is not perfect and it's definitely not heaven. Although, I can only claim him as an acquaintance and a classmate I feel like my heart has been torn out of my chest and ripped apart right before my very eyes. It's not fair that he had Leukemia, it's not fair that he left all his friends wondering why, it's not fair that his parents have to bury their child. It's just not fair and there's nothing I can do to stop it.

All I can do is tell people what is coming after death. All I can do is hope, pray, cry, beg that people understand what is coming. Not everyone goes to Heaven. I don't know if Robbie is in Heaven. I don't know him well enough to say so but it's between Robbie and God. I really hope he is there. I don't want anyone to go to Hell.

I was driving when reality smacked me across the face. I wanted to rip the steering wheel right out of the dash board but I refrained. Instead, I screamed at the top of my lungs at Satan. One day, Satan will have a second death and will burn forever in hell. There will be a new heaven. God will wipe the tears away from our eyes. Pain and suffering will be a thing of the past. No more cancer, no more car accidents, no more suicides. It will all be dealt with. The happily ever finally comes at the end of the age. We just gotta get there

I care about Southeast Polk and the people there. I get so weary from knowing people I care about are in pain. I hope this spurs you on to share the graciousness of God through Christ. It's the only lasting hope that we can depend on. We have nothing, but in Christ we have everything.

Verses to claim:

Matthew 11:28-30

Psalm 46:10

Revelation 21:3-4,6,7

I'm not who I was~ Brandon Heath

Some people call me Laurie. Others may call me Laurence. Some others call me Lauretta. This is only the beginning. No, I don't have multiple personalities... I hope! I have so many nicknames! I can't even count them on one hand. I'm not exactly sure how I got these nicknames but I kind of like them. I rather enjoy being called a different name than the one that my parental units picked out for me. I don't dislike Laurie. Oh, no. It's a wonderful and beautiful name. I'm glad to have it but it's special when someone renames me. The first time I was called Laurence was a few years ago and it stuck. This nickname has led to many more. Loraly, Lauretta, Dorcus (which is a real name in the bible!), Laurence from Florence, Laurenceka, Raurie. These are only a few of the names I have but I'm not the only one with a different name.

Saul became Paul. Christ had changed this man who hunted down christians and murdered them. Christ confronted Saul when he was on his way to Damascus chasing down some christians. Saul was a changed man who later wrote many books of the New Testament. He became on fire and crazy about the love of Christ. He became Paul. I hope that I have changed enough to deserve a new name like Laurence. I know that I have changed since I've let Christ be my number 1 man. I really hope the old Laurie that people knew way back when is dead. She was pretty awful. I could go on and on about that but there is no point in dwelling in the past. I have repented of my lifestyle. I hope to become more and more like Christ. Little less Laurie, a little more Laurence. That is why I love getting nicknames. A new person deserves a new name, right? Only logical.

As Laurence I hope to continue to walk by faith with Christ until I'm very old. Then I intend to walk with Jesus in Heaven and perhaps a swing dance will be called for. Until then, I will write about my life with Jesus as Laurence.